In Other News...

One Miss Carol Maxwell is flying in today, and because she is her, I have no idea when. She may be here already - cruising the mean streets of Olympia in her rental car, cat calling bitches, looking for a decent cup of coffee. Either way, she's bound to roll up on 717 Sawyer Street sooner or later. And when she does? Oh the fun we shall have, providing she's not being completely out of her fucking skull, which is a definite possibility. I can hardly wait.

Tomorrow night the house has planned a martini night with my lady friend, Samantha. That should be good; Sam's a fucking hoot. Plus, martini's are delicious & we're going to learn how to make them. So, we win.

Meanwhile - my urge to kill has just peaked. Why? Because James just came in off the porch, after smoking his cigarette & reading The Stranger, and shared with me something he had just been reading:

According to the CDC - all us womens folk should treat our bodies as if we are "pre-pregnant". PRE fucking PREGNANT. Everything we do should be guided by the notion of children. Obviously. Even if we have no intention of conceiving, we should always be preparing our bodies for pregnancy - since most are unplanned. Hmph. And the men? What will the men be doing whilst us delicate creatures are monitoring our intake of folic acids, watching our weight and taking our vitamins? Nothing. Absolutley nothing. Of fucking course. While this is lovely sentiment for those women who CHOOSE to breed, who are PLANNING on breeding and would LIKE to (or can AFFORD to) have a leg up on the whole healthy pregnancy thing - for the rest of us... this is another insulting pot shot at our vaginas.

Hey CDC: Go Fuck Yourself.

I don't need to hear anyone's, let alone another government agency's opinion on MY BODY. Here's an idea: what I do with my vagina, my uterus, my eggs, my cervix - none of your fucking business. My body. Mine. I was born with it. I take care of it. I pay the bills that keep it clean, fed, happy & without-child. I keep it warm. I decide when, how and by whom it will be seen, touched or otherwise maintained. I provide health care for it. I find it friends. And I can tell when someone is trying to fuck it - I'm looking at you CDC.