you can't CANCEL hockey! you can not do it. it simply isn't done.
i'm a hardcore boston bruins fan. hockey isn't a sport, it's a facet of my personality. no, really. it's the reason i picture my self body-checking petition-weilding pseudo-hippies as i power past them silently on my way to class. it's the reason i envision reaching over someones head, grabbing the back of their jersey and pulling it over their face as i engage in heated intellectual discourse within the seminar environment. while i deal and cope and remain calm, even and professional - hockey is that part of me that's seated in the bleechers of my mind screaming a rash of poetic obscenities at a ref who needs to get his fuckin' eyes checked. while i'm busy being reasonable and elloquent, hockey's back there chanting "GOALIE...GOALIE...YOU SUCK!"
it's my fucking outlet, goddamn it and i need my shit! like a junkie needs the rock, i need hockey. i need to check the scores and see that boston's leading their division. i need to read the story telling me that while i was busy being polite and rational, my boys are in trouble again for spending more time in the penalty box than on the ice. and i can sleep at night because i know that if they're hitting hard, they're pissing off the other guy, which leads to power plays in boston's favor. they may not be as tight on the pp in recent years, but at least they've got the legacy of Neely and Bourque to carry them through and intimidate the shit out of the competition.
they cancelled the fucking season. CANCELLED it. have you any idea what this means for my baseline hostility level? hmmm? is it too much to ask to have the sport you love with a cold beer? now i have to wait until next fall? no games. no playoffs. no Stanley Cup.
no. Stanley. Cup. this hasn't happened since 1919.
Red Sox finally break the curse and win the World Series. Pats take another Super Bowl. Bruins don't even get a crack at the cup this year.